Six brand new shows, Five crazy games! Four bloody films, Three Sanctuaries, Two Middlemans, and a Colbert'sChristmasSpecialDVD
(Ok, so I'm a little behind. I just beat AC Revelations and it was totally worth it.)
Suits Notable Cast: Gina Torres (Firefly, Serenity, Alias) Plot: Mike Ross, genius kid with issues staying on the straight and narrow, ends up lying about having a law degree and working for Harvey Specter. Harvey happens to be an ex-genius kid with issues, etc., etc. so he keeps the lie going but in a gruff, Gibbs head-slap, mentor kind of way.
The one thing that keeps this show form being unoriginal is the fact that Mike is not a totally reformed slacker and Harvey is much more of a douche than the typical doesn't-show-affection mentor. For a while, I felt bad for enjoying the show as much as I did, but there's a point where you just enjoy imperfect characters who get away with (or don't).
Five crazy games! Four bloody films, Three Sanctuaries, Two Middlemans, and a Colbert'sChristmasSpecialDVD
When it comes to video games there can be all kind of arguments - JRPG vs. WRPG, Call of Duty vs. Gears of War, Zelda vs. Mario, Leaf vs. Water vs. Fire starting Pokemon.
But only a few games can be universally agreed upon as the craziest, most time consuming, plot-twisty, over the top, innovative, and yes, rewarding, games out there. These games are above and beyond and if you haven't played them, you haven't experienced the jaw-dropping glorious confusion that comes with any one of these fantastic titles:
Catherine(XBOX 360/PS3) Plot: Vincent, an ordinary guy, is stuck choosing between his long term girlfriend Katherine who's pushing for a big commitment, and new mysterious young hottie Catherine. Also, he's having terrifying nightmares where he must climb to the top of a tower before the floor gives out beneath him - if he falls in the dream, he'll die in real life.
Why It's Innovative: First off, you don't get to choose how Vincent responds. Instead you answer survey questions about your own views on marriage and commitment, and chooses Vincent's reactions based on that. And no, there is no "right" choice, he's an absolute tool of a douchebag either way. Instead you're rewarded for the strength and consistency of your choices. Additionally, the game itself is the climb up the tower in Vincent's dream, a physics breaking timed 3D puzzle with a 2D view. Why It's Crazy: Oh, and also there's a 64 level move limited mini-game version of the main puzzle. And a social element where you can accidentally kill the other characters if you aren't careful. And final bosses like uh,
Four bloody films, Three Sanctuaries, Two Middlemans, and a Colbert'sChristmasSpecialDVD!
First off, I don't like slasher flicks. In fact, I normally have a really low tolerance for blood, guts, and gore. But these films are something special. They go from being just bloody to bloody fantastic. (That last part is to be read with a British accent.)
Kill Bill (Vol. 1 and 2) The Plot: The Bride (Uma Thurman) wakes up from a 4 year coma after being beaten nearly to death and losing her baby. She goes to get revenge on all those responsible, saving Bill for last. Also, did I mention she's an ex-assassin, and so is everyone she's hunting? The Bloody: Guns are boring. Old school weapons, especially samurai swords, are awesome. Their are tons of incredible fight scenes, that often involve lots of limb loss, eye plucking, and just brutal amounts of blood. The Bloody Fantastic: You did read "samurai swords" correct? The fight scenes in this movie are the closest I've ever scene to art of any action film. The entire movie is so detailed that it's hard to believe even Quentin Tarantino could imagine this level of crazy. In fact, the most iconic scene (left), when Elle Driver attempts to murder the Bride while she's in her coma, doesn't have any blood at all. The second most (right) does though - and by blood I mean light spatter and a severed head. Watch at your own peril.
Three Sanctuaries, Two Middlemans, and a Colbert'sChristmasSpecialDVD
So the truth is, I'm absolutely exhausted as I've spent the last three days driving home from PIttsburgh, running errands, and then turning around and flying across the country today. So, yeah, I went with something easy. But, to justify this:
1) I do own all three seasons of Sanctuary (but I just did a bad pluralization yesterday so I refuse to do it again), and
2) Technically, though the Sanctuary network expands all over the globe (at least 12 or 13 have been confirmed in different cities), we've only ever seen three:
Old City (Magnus/Will/Ashley/Henry/Kate)
London (Watson/Declan/Clara/Allistair/Other generic British people)
and Mumbai (Ravi)
Technically, we did see the Japanese Sanctuary incredibly briefly in season 2 opener End of Nights Part 1. But then it was attacked and burned to the ground, so I think I'm safe not counting it.
Now, dear readers, apologies for going all hipster on you, but I'm about to tell you about the greatest SciFy tv show you've never heard of. It's called
An amazing show with a very short lifetime on ABC Family, the show was about, well, The Middleman and his apprentice, Wendy Watson, as they fight some incredibly wonky and hilarious villains, all while working for the mysterious OTSTK (Organization Too Secret To Know).
Every episode was based off of a different classic story with a twist: mob hits Godfather style that are the work of super intelligent gorillas, the zombie flying fish apocalypse, and the return of Vlad the Impaler - as a talking vampire puppet.
But by far my favorite episode is the one honoring everything spytacular, "The Obscolecent Cryogenic Meltdown." Kevin Sorbo (a.k.a. Hercules) guest starred as "Sixty Nine", a previous Middleman who was frozen in order to fight his arch-nemesis The Candle should he ever resurface.
But two Middlemans (not Middlemen, that would sound silly) is one too many, and as they butt heads, Sixty Nine tries to go rouge and drags Wendy along. They end up playing a very dangerous card game as "the American gambler Harry Rule and his dissolute lover the Contessa Caroline di Cotini" at the nefarious mansion of Lord Jeremiah Purcell, who is protected by his silent but deadly manservant Govinda. And yes, those are actually lines from the show, not my own description.
Eventually we learn that all evil villains buy two things after setting up an evil lair on an island - automated turrets and Scandinavian furniture. It's an awesome episode, especially for me as a massive James Bond fan.
I recommend the whole series, but for a taste of the humor and light heartedness, here's a collection of some of The Middleman's greatest sayings:
Yep. I went there. I refuse to conform to the annoying yet endearing cliche of counting down to Christmas. 1) Because I don't celebrate it and 2) because I don't how you're supposed to remember the day it starts and I missed it.
[And I know what you're thinking. 25 - 12? Really? I can't do basic math anymore. Give it to me in the form of a partial differential equation and then we're talking.]
Anyways, kicking it off today, I begin listing things I love that you should buy for people you love. (Or yourself because that's how I got the song lyrics to work)
That's right, I'm starting Hanukah with some Christmas. It's really only fair, as Christmas Eve is actually the most sacred Jewish holiday of the year, traditionally celebrated with Chinese food and a movie with my family.
Anyways, to get you in the holiday spirit, check out the fantastically awesome special that I'm sure is constantly running on Comedy Central right now. Airing originally in December 2008, it's absolutely hilarious, irreverent, and full of the same humor as the Colbert Report, but with extra musical guests.
I remember when it came out because I was in class when Colbert ordered his fans to all buy an album of the special at 5pm so he could pass Kanye West on the Top Album chart. My first act of rebellion in service to the Colbert Nation! (And we succeeded!)
Anyways, I'm sure the whole thing is online, but here's a sample with my personal favorite song: "Can I Interest You in Hanukah?" with John Stewart.
Something to get you through your last few finals! I'm busy not packing, will update once I'm home in the land of free yummy food I don't have to cook myself.
(By the way, if you are in academics and you don't read PhD regularly, you're doing it wrong. I've been reading his stuff since junior year of high school, it's all brilliant)
I know, it's been rough for all of us since Stargate SG1 ended. Atlantis was nice, and Universe actually wrapped with some solid episodes at the end, but things have never been the same since our favorite (slightly interchangeable) four set out every week from the SGC.
And yet, very few of you have latched onto a show I know you'll love, so here's:
Ten Reasons Why Stargate SG1 Fans Will Love Sanctuary:
(by the way, if you are not a Stargate fan/want to know a heck of a lot more about the show, I did a really thorough review of it before Season 3 aired back here. Careful, there are lots of spoilers)
1. The Executive Producers (The 1 you know and the 2 you don't)
First off, Sanctuary is a privately financed show that is aired by SyFy, not a network show. The people who made all this magic happen are currently it's three executive producers: Amanda Tapping, Damian Kindler, and Martin Wood. And guess what, you actually know all three.
Amanda Tapping - You know her as Sam Carter, but not only does she star as Helen Magnus is Sanctuary, she's also been an executive producer since the beginning and directed 3 episodes. She's had a hand in designing the show since it first began as a few online webisodes. On top of that, along with Damian Kindler she helped found SanctuaryForKids, a charity that sponsors work all over the globe and receives 100% of all money made from Sanctuary merchandise. She is is one very talented woman.
Damian Kindler - The creator of Sanctuary and co-founder of SanctuaryForKids, he's also an executive producer and writer for Sanctuary, but you know him from, well, a lot of Stargate. The short list of episodes he wrote includes The Other Guys, Reckoning Pt 1 and 2, and Bounty.
Martin Wood - Executive producer and director for Sanctuary, he met Amanda Tapping during the first episode of Stargate SG1 he directed, where she talked him into helping with a now infamous prank:
New semester, new things to avoid doing (like, say, grad school apps), new roster of shows to watch, and a new layout!
And also, through a rather odd series of somewhat fortunate events over the summer, I was challenged to think of a proper Carmen Sandiego-style agent name for myself, and, well, I like it. Of course, Ann Tickwitee will always have a special place in my heart.
Combine the name with the background recently liberated from SyFy's website, and I think we all know what my #1 show is right now - Sanctuary! If you have free time, and you want to get into a new TV show, and you aren't catching up on Sanctuary online, you're WRONG.
And one final note. A friend of mine, new to Doctor Who (my close 2nd favorite show), tried to mispronounce a crucial word in the Who-verse yesterday and write it off as an easy mistake to make. It's not. See this:
These are Daleks. Pronounce Daah - lehk. Or according to Wikipedia in that fancy script I can't read: dɑːlɛk.
Get it right or you shall be exterminated! Or maybe we'll get them first:
Jeez, I feel like a broken record. This semester is incredibly hectic for me, and I'm going to try to catch up soon. So sorry.
On a side note, according to my super top secret stats bar, in the last two weeks I've had over a hundred hits purely because of an image of Michelle Pfeifer I have in my Hairspray review. Weird. But flattering. I think.
I have been keeping up with shows though. Castle's doing great, The Cape is still going strong, and House had two surprisingly good episodes with the intro of Cuddy's mom and a Rachel centric episode.
So since I'm too busy to do any writing, what about you readers? What are you watching? Is your semester as hectic as mine? Or just post something about how I'm so zeta slow. Any sign of life on this blog is welcome.
SPOILERS: ...Castle... hopefully, that's not a surprise
In case you don't read titles, Castle's back! And as far as I know, nothing else. So it gets its own post. But not a long one. Cause I'm lazy. And the Thursday finales took foooreeevvver. And I like short sentence fragments. And I have sooooooo much homework. (Yes, this is from January 3rd)
SPOILERS: Bones, Big Bang Theory, and a hell-of-a-lot-of Sanctuary
All I can say is, this is the most daunting post ever. Bones, ok. BBT, ok. FOUR episodes of Sanctuary in one post?! I'm almost glad I didn't take notes cause if I did my usual play-by-play this would be way too freakishly long. Thank goodness one of them is Breach which, while a good episode, doesn't require much commenting.
However, this is a lot of stuff to cover, in Bones as well, so if any of your burning questions or fond memories are not covered, let me know. I'll either add in another section or bump up your chosen episode to a separate review (which means me re-watching it and taking notes).
Hobey ho, let's go.
(Twenty points to anyone who gets that reference - and in advance, you are awesome)
