I bought something for me:
Four bloody films,
Three Sanctuaries,
Two Middlemans,
and a Colbert's Christmas Special DVD!
First off, I don't like slasher flicks. In fact, I normally have a really low tolerance for blood, guts, and gore. But these films are something special. They go from being just bloody to bloody fantastic. (That last part is to be read with a British accent.)
Kill Bill (Vol. 1 and 2)
The Plot: The Bride (Uma Thurman) wakes up from a 4 year coma after being beaten nearly to death and losing her baby. She goes to get revenge on all those responsible, saving Bill for last. Also, did I mention she's an ex-assassin, and so is everyone she's hunting?
The Bloody: Guns are boring. Old school weapons, especially samurai swords, are awesome. Their are tons of incredible fight scenes, that often involve lots of limb loss, eye plucking, and just brutal amounts of blood.
The Bloody Fantastic: You did read "samurai swords" correct? The fight scenes in this movie are the closest I've ever scene to art of any action film. The entire movie is so detailed that it's hard to believe even Quentin Tarantino could imagine this level of crazy. In fact, the most iconic scene (left), when Elle Driver attempts to murder the Bride while she's in her coma, doesn't have any blood at all. The second most (right) does though - and by blood I mean light spatter and a severed head. Watch at your own peril.
Sweeney Todd
The Plot: SO, this is based off of a musical that I love. Believe me when I say this movie is absolutely fantastic and totally lives up to the show (though they unfortunately had to cut a few songs). A barber named Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp) seeks revenge on the Judge (Alan Rickman) who imprisoned him in order to be able to make a pass at his wife Lucy and adopt his daughter Joanna. On the way, his landlady Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter) convinces him to kill his customers (as they either deserve to die or live crappy enough lives that it's a gift) whom she then puts into her suddenly very popular meat pies. [below]
The Bloody: ....He kills his customers....With his shaving razors....And then they're baked into meat pies and served. It's not excessive amounts of blood, but I know some people find the squick factor of unwitting cannibalism terrifying.
The Bloody Fantastic: It's a musical. With an amazing cast. Massive amounts of delicious (pardon the pun) drama, some truly hilarious songs, and surprisingly great cameo appearances of Sasha Baron Cohen and Anthony Stewart Head.
Inglorious Bastards
The Plot: The closest the world of Hollywood has ever gotten to "Holocaust revenge fantasy." (I wish I'd made that phrase up, but there was a video game, set in concentration camps, just released in Israel that was considered so horrifically graphic and excessive it was banned under this heading) Quentin Tarantino once again dreamed up something truly crazy - Brad Pitt playing a Jewish Nazi hunter. Over the course of the movie, two groups separately plan to assassinate Hitler at a propaganda film premiere. Also, not historically accurate.
The Bloody: Sorry, I left the part out where Pitt's Nazi hunting group scalp every Nazi they find and beat them to death with bats. Also, machine guns. And carving swastikas into people's foreheads. I've never watched this movie without covering my eyes at least once.
The Bloody Fantastic: Well, I don't want to spoil it, but heavy emphasis on my previous statement of "not historically accurate." Also, the sheer audacity of the movie is amazing, the characters are interesting, it's rather funny at times (they redid the famous Hitler scene from Downfall - "Nein, nein, nein!") and the dialogue is witty and compelling without sounding generic, in-genuine, or out-of-character. Plus, this scene:
Repo! The Genetic Opera
The Plot: In the future, organs can be artificially produced and purchased by those who need or want it. Surgery, both plastic and medical, becomes a crucial part of life, mostly thanks to the incredibly addictive anesthetic Zydrate. However, if you don't pay of your debt, Repo Men can come repossess what you bought, and they don't need to leave you alive. One Repo Man, Nathan (Anthony Stewart Head) deals with a teenage daughter (Alexa Vega) who he tries to keep from knowing his work and the dystopian world outside her room, while Rotti Largo, the man behind it all, deals with his disastrous children and his agenda to ruin Nathan's life. Also, it's a rock musical.
The Bloody: They repossess organs while people are still alive. This is not that silly Jude Law Repo Man movie. During one song, Nathan sticks his hand into a dead "patient" and uses him as a puppet. Also, there's a singer named Blind Mag (Sara Brightman) who, uh, ends up in a difficult spot regarding her on-loan corneas.
The Bloody Fantastic: It's a rock musical with Giles, the girl from Spy Kids, Paris Hilton (who actually is really hilarious playing Rotti's surgery addicted spoiled daughter), and the original annoying Christine from Phantom of the Opera (Brightman). It should be so bad that it's totally fantastic, and actually has some really great songs. Plus, you realize halfway through that movie that it's actually making a deep moral argument about the significance of our genetics to our life. Heavy.
[So there aren't any decent clips of it online, but this is probably my favorite song. It's called Infected; Alexa Vega's character is upset that her father keeps her locked up in the house because of the imuno-compromising blood disease that killed her mother]
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