Two Middlemans

On the second night of Hanukah,
I bought something for me:

Two Middlemans
 and a Colbert's Christmas Special DVD

Now, dear readers, apologies for going all hipster on you, but I'm about to tell you about the greatest SciFy tv show you've never heard of. It's called

An amazing show with a very short lifetime on ABC Family, the show was about, well, The Middleman and his apprentice, Wendy Watson, as they fight some incredibly wonky and hilarious villains, all while working for the mysterious OTSTK (Organization Too Secret To Know).

Every episode was based off of a different classic story with a twist: mob hits Godfather style that are the work of super intelligent gorillas, the zombie flying fish apocalypse, and the return of Vlad the Impaler - as a talking vampire puppet.

But by far my favorite episode is the one honoring everything spytacular, "The Obscolecent Cryogenic Meltdown." Kevin Sorbo (a.k.a. Hercules) guest starred as "Sixty Nine", a previous Middleman who was frozen in order to fight his arch-nemesis The Candle should he ever resurface.

But two Middlemans (not Middlemen, that would sound silly) is one too many, and as they butt heads, Sixty Nine tries to go rouge and drags Wendy along. They end up playing a very dangerous card game as "the American gambler Harry Rule and his dissolute lover the Contessa Caroline di Cotini" at the nefarious mansion of Lord Jeremiah Purcell, who is protected by his silent but deadly manservant Govinda. And yes, those are actually lines from the show, not my own description.

Eventually we learn that all evil villains buy two things after setting up an evil lair on an island - automated turrets and Scandinavian furniture. It's an awesome episode, especially for me as a massive James Bond fan.

I recommend the whole series, but for a taste of the humor and light heartedness, here's a collection of some of The Middleman's greatest sayings: